Food Junkies

So yesterday I was thinking about why I haven't been losing weight and even gained almost a pound but I am not too worried. I am eating a pretty clean diet. I could walk and move a little more. I have been looking all day at doing The Whole 30 and I think I will probably start Jan 1. Trying to figure out a plan and spending some time on the forums. I ordered few 100% cocoa chocolate bars online yesterday as I think having 1-2 squares a day will still be compliant and will replace my current 85%. I still want to lose weight and don't want to turn to nuts. I think I can eat them in pre measured amount when I exercise regularly and want to maintain. 

I finished reading the book Food Junkies. 

While it was interesting to learn about food addiction and hear people's stories it seems like the main suggestion is to admit/learn about the addiction, identify trigger foods, abstain from trigger foods, usually grains and sugar, and most important have a support system and community. 

It is a nice book all together. Gave me a little perspective on food and thoughts about food. 

While I don't think I am a full blown addict I believe I have some small degree of addiction sometimes. I was an undiagnosed secretly bulimic as a teenager, have been eating and thinking about food at different points in life. Mainly when I didn't have anything to do I used food to comfort me and keep me company. Today, I am doing much better but sometimes at social gatherings I can become pre occupied with food. Now that I know more I think it gives me the tools to deal with it. 

I also think that for me, the longer I have been off grains and sugar i am having gradually less thoughts about food. I hope that with time I will grow to not want the tiramisu just like it took me almost a year of not wanting pastry or bagels. I have learned now, after my gradual weight gain of 15lbs over the past year that this once in a while goodie is not good for me. I don't "deserve" it. It is not harmless. The fact that it is there and it's free doesn't mean that I deserve it. Even if I don't gain weight immediately doesn't mean I should have it. Even if others are eating it doesn't mean I should or even want.